When I am out there in the world, practicing my beliefs and trying to do the right thing, I am usually successful. I know that people think I have it all figured out and some are even foolish enough to think I am perfect. But, I am not. I often feel like I leave God on the doorstep when I walk in to my house.
I want to share the love and light of the world in my home. I really do. Then I stumble over backpacks and jackets and follow the trail of muddy footprints. I see dishes where they don’t belong and lights on in rooms that have been left hours ago. In a matter of minutes, a curtain comes down between me and God and I begin behaving more like a possessed demon than a Christian. I don’t want to know what Jesus would do. I want answers.
This post was inspired by a rant I went on yesterday with my daughter about treating me worse than even a stranger. It was fueled by repetitive infractions of household rules and an attitude of disrespect that seems to be reserved for me. It happened after being at church, of all places.
When I walked in the door and saw that she had not done what I asked I made a conscious decision to leave God out of it. It was a split second decision but I can rewind the tape and see exactly where it was made.I decided I was going to handle this my way because I wanted to let her have it. I didn’t want to lead with love or turn the other cheek. I wanted her to feel the hurt and anger I felt.
And, I did.
Sometimes the epiphany comes out of the ashes of failure. Mine came about 5:00 am this morning. The regret tugged at my subconscious until I awoke. Sadness greeted me. I had failed to walk the walk in my own home.
I realized that my judgment day was right here, right now. My courtroom will be my home, not the outside world. For what I do here shows what I truly believe. I failed. The only saving grace is that I get to try again today.
My home is my battleground now. It is where I will fight to be the best person I can be and where I will try to inspire my family to do the same. It is where my spiritual maturity will be tested and measured. I know I will fail again so I pray that the gaps grow larger between the failures and that I never again take of my WWJD bracelet. I know God has forgiven me, I just hope my daughter will.
In the struggle to maintain Christian values in my heart and in my home, I decided to simplify things.My goal is to do it God’s way and lead with love. Pray that I can live this simple life.
God Bless you in your home today.
Proverbs 11:29 (The Message)
Exploit or abuse your family, and end up with a fistful of air; common sense tells you it’s a stupid way to live.
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May your week be filled with love and light, Darlene.