Today, I attended church in my pajamas, on my couch, reading Glennon Melton Doyle’s Love Warrior. I broke all the rules of church. There wasn’t a hard pew in sight or a community of people present. No hymns were sung. Yet, I haven’t felt this close to God in a long time.
The last time I felt this close was when I wrote the book, The Promise. I got to spend months hanging out with Him and asking questions and getting our relationship straightened out. Yes, I had a conversation with God. No, I am not crazy. And yes, I have continued a daily conversation because I depend on it.
But, I have kept this hidden because people get a little freaked out about it.
So, in many respects, I have kept The Promise hidden as well. It is like the crazy cousin who is in the family pictures but no one really talks about.
And now, I am finishing Love Warrior, and I feel ashamed. I am ashamed that I didn’t trust the words I wrote. I am ashamed that I didn’t believe that God does not have a hierarchy in his tribe. I am ashamed that I was not strong enough to stand by the words whispered to me that I captured for Him.
I read the words, “I teach them that they are loved by God – wildly, fiercely, gently, completely, without reservation. I promise that there is nothing inside of them that they need to be ashamed of. I become the megaphone for the still small voice that was drowned out so early for me – the voice that says to each of us, You! You are my beloved! I made you and everything you have ever been or are or will become is already approved. Nothing you can ever do will make me love you more, and nothing you can do will ever make me love you less. So stop hiding, stop waiting, and come now! Just get up and dance with me!”
I realize these words that are pulling me in, are words I wrote years ago in The Promise.
“No matter who you are, what you have done, or how bad the circumstances are, I promise forgiveness. The slate is wiped clean. Stick with me, Sam, and I will help you live a life you could never have dreamed of. As one of my favorite songs says, there is no mountain high enough, there is no valley low enough, there is no river wide enough to keep me from you.”
God is the original “love warrior”.
We have experts, theologians, politicians, famous people, church elders, our neighbours and even friends telling us this is not true. God only loves the clean, the rule-followers, and the ones who have said the magic words to enter into the kingdom.
Don’t believe them.
The one who whispers it will be okay.
The one who lives in you, around you, above you and below you.
The one who has no conditions on love.
Because he is a Love Warrior.
And, I believe, if someone can quote a scripture that says there are conditions, the scripture isn’t quoting God. It is quoting man.
I got some great preaching today, sitting here on my couch.
Hope you did too.
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I am so grateful for the time you have spent with me.
May your week be filled with love and light,