The last couple of weeks I have had some adversity. Nothing earth shattering but enough little things that they started to add up against me and I was really struggling. But, for me, adversity is an old foe and I have learned how to get past him. The thing is, we all need a plan to deal with adversity. Here is mine, maybe it will inspire you to make your own.
1. Everyone. Goes. Through. Adversity. EVERYONE. Do you know why? Because that is life. As soon as I got that, really got that, my life changed. So here it is again, bad stuff happens, it is a part of life. And, it isn’t because you are a bad person or God is mad at you. It isn’t because you are unlucky or cursed. It is simply because you are living. And guess what? No one goes through life unscathed. It may look like it, but you would be amazed at the suffering that goes on behind closed doors. Life is cyclical. We have good days and bad days. It is life, people. Accept and move on.
2. Don’t keep telling your story over and over again. Now, I don’t want you to skip over the grieving, the feeling, the anger and remorse. You need to feel all of those things to get better. But, set a date. Give yourself a period of time and then move on. I can’t help but think of a story my friend told me. She was talking to an old acquaintance and her daughter. Afterward, her daughter remarked about how awful the woman’s life sounded and asked what happened that was so bad. My friend answered, she got divorced…15 years ago. Don’t get stuck in your old story. Set a date and get ready to write a new one.
3. When you are ready to move on, get help. For me, I am not really good at asking for help or opening up to people. But, I have my husband and a few good friends to ask the important questions like, Should I really be this angry about this? When they look at me with that pitiful expression I know what is coming. No. So, I go and do the work. I figure out why I was so upset. I read inspirational, informative books. I spend time really thinking about what was triggered and why. Even if they say yes, you should be this angry, I still do the work, the work of letting it go. If you need a coach to do this, get one. Either way, move on.
4. Want to feel better almost immediately? Go help someone else. It is an elixir that will fix anything. And, it doesn’t mean you have to go build a school in Africa, although that would really make you forget about your own problems. Smile at someone. Concentrate on making someone’s day better and you will find yours will become better as well. Here is a recent example. Sometimes I wrap my happiness around how many people read my blog, like my post, or share my content. If it is a slow day, not so happy. Last week I was feeling like nobody loves me. So, I thought I would love someone else. There has to be other freaks like me who would appreciate a like and a share right? So I went through every social media network and when I came across something I liked, I officially liked it. If I thought my friends would appreciate it, I shared it. It was so much fun. By the time I was finished I had totally forgotten about my childish pouting over social media analytics. And, I was so happy!
5. Last, but not least, just spend a few minutes thinking about all you have to be grateful for. Can you breathe? Can you talk? Can you see? Can you walk? Do you have one person to call a friend? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food in your fridge? Does the light turn on when you flick a switch? Are you safe? Do you live in a country where you can be and do anything? Can you read? Can you write? In some countries more than half the adult population cannot read or write. If you start looking at what you do have you will stop thinking about what you don’t have.
So, if you want to take your adversity and make it into something good, have a plan and do the work, because, spoiler alert, more adversity is on the way.
That is life, people, and that is how we grow.
I want to thank everyone who has been sharing, pinning and tweeting my blog. Because of you, people are reading it all over Canada, the U.S. and Europe. If you have been inspired by these words please pass them on, like the post, pin it to your board or tweet the link. If you don’t want to risk missing this in your feed, you can enjoy the convenience of having the blog sent to you every week. Just sign up to the right. If you want to be inspired in between posts, you can “like” my Facebook author page at: https://www.facebook.com/DarleneGudrieButts where I only post uplifting and inspiring content. I just want to make your corner of the world a little brighter. And, if you are wondering why me, where are you God or is this it, you will find the answers in my book, The Promise. Just go to the book tab.
I am grateful for the time you have spent with me.
May your week be filled with love and light,